BOTHERED GOD

Our paperboy was a vampire. Nice lad until the day he murdered a neighbour, drank her blood and ate part of her liver.

At his trial at Mold Assizes his defence counsel said that he was obsessed with vampire films and blamed them for leading him into crime. So any suggestion that we are not affected by what we see on TV misses me by a wide margin.

If there is anyone sitting on a golden throne up there among the clouds, you can bet that He/She has realised that Their big mistake was evolution.

The Presence has only got to look at the creatures created to see that the evolved human being is a planetary disaster. Compared with ants, rats, even viruses, it isn't even under starter's orders. The other species are more caring of themselves, of each other and their surroundings. Insects live happily together in crowded communities that are largely disease free. They do not form themselves in battalions to wipe out other hives or hills to increase their land. Except for essential nourishment by eating the least fit, varieties live in harmony.

I think part of the reason is that none of them have TV. With some exceptions, the human race is a good deal less human than it was in the Thirties. Much cleverer, healthier, richer and better dressed. But collectively unpleasant and I believe that TV and the cinema are responsible.

One of the impulses our Cro Magnon brain shares with its animal relations is a compelling urge to imitate. We see it in the way our feral young strive to be different, as Quentin Crisp pointed out, by all dressing exactly the same. Indeed, the whole world of fashion is a demonstration of this rather endearing human trait. Or was in the days when male fashion designers liked women rather than, as they do now, jealously compete with them.

I'll bet that's another thing upsets Him/Her Upstairs. Sends us out in the world in a luxurious fur coat with matching leggings, suitable for town or country, and the first chance we get we lose the hair and clothe ourselves in absurd garments like trousers. Or even more absurd: ties. I abhor the exposure of the neck, which is currently fashionable, so I have bought a job lot of polo-necked golf jerseys.

I only hope that I have time to wear them because the latest nap selection is that He/She is getting out of the human being market. Eradicated species has become publishing hot property after a bidding battle in the US saw Henry Holt, a publisher, beat its rivals to buy The Sixth Extinction by Elizabeth Kolbert last week. According to the New York Times, a "mid-six-figure advance" has now been agreed between writer and publisher.

"After talking about the perils of global warming this is the most crucial subject," said Gillian Blake of Holt, after completing the deal with Kolbert, a writer for the New Yorker on environmental issues. Her last book, Field Notes from a Catastrophe, outlined evidence collated from sites across the planet showing how global warming is changing the world. The book was well reviewed on both sides of the Atlantic, with the Observer praising it as "a superbly crafted, diligently compressed vision of a world spiralling towards destruction."

Just the thing for a Christmas read.
Scientists say the number of species being lost is approaching levels reached during five pivotal extinction events that have swept the planet over the past 600 million years. Among these catastrophes was the event that wiped out the dinosaurs 65 million years ago. Kolbert's task will be to be show whether or not humanity - with its spiralling population, widespread habitat destruction, over-fishing and global warming - is rivalling these.
I will bet Al Gore is investing in humane killers.

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I DREAMT THAT I DIDN'T DWELL


I invited interpretation of a very odd dream I had. From a reader in Australia came this response:

“This man's dream is absolutely extraordinary. I need to think on it, but what is very clear - and you, I am sure, realised it too - is that he is a beautiful being who has tried so hard to fit in with Society and do what he thinks is required of him. In the process he has forgotten the essential self which is shrinking away and seriously being eaten up by our mad 3D world. The fact that the crinkly paper is golden tells me a great deal. He is aware that he must nurture the self, but it is the 3D self he is nurturing and the real him is slowly eroding. If I was him I would think very hard and maybe go somewhere quiet and tranquil and meditate on whether he has the courage to walk away from the life he is leading now and totally allow his essential beautiful self to blossom and just BE!! It will require sacrifice in a financial and perhaps social sense but if he doesn't do this he will become ill and not fulfil his destiny.

“The leap of faith will take enormous courage but he will be taken care of and evolve into the butterfly he can become. He is being warned very clearly and if he takes himself in both hands and makes the jump he has a rich and totally fulfilling destiny awaiting him, otherwise who knows. Tell him he has earned the right and once he gains a true belief in himself others will follow along and accept it.

“We must always be true to the self, there is no avoiding it. Nothing less than total surrender is demanded of him.”

I think she is trying to tell me in a kindly way to get lost!

AND FINALLY THIS REMEMBRANCE WEEK

Twinning Chiefs came under fire this week over plans to link Lytham St Anne's with a town in Japan. Chair of the Lytham St Anne's Twinning Association Barbara MacKenzie is looking into the possibility of forging a partnership with Hayashima, near Hiroshima.

Mayor Tomohiko Sato visited St Anne's in August and Mrs MacKenzie and her husband made the return trip at the end of October.

Councillor Barbara Pagett this week hit out at the plans, saying that atrocities committed by Japanese forces during the Second World War were still too raw in the minds of many residents. Her claims were backed up by Chairman of the St Anne's Branch of the Royal British Legion, Albert Cooper.

More than 50,000 British PoWs and 19,000 civilians were captured by the Japanese and forced to work in inhumane conditions in mines or on the so-called Railway of Death between Thailand and Burma. Nearly one quarter of those seized died in captivity.

Mr Cooper said: "In my personal opinion I can't think of anything in its favour other than a nice holiday for somebody. If you ever mention Japan to anybody who served there you get a terrible reaction. It's just too soon."