How nice to know that our own Coalition, basking in the Mediterranean sunshine, operates a similar watchful eye.
But for them, dogs would be dancing on their hind legs on every street corner and slugs would be massacred with toxic coffee grounds in defiance of European regulations. Motorists would be free to mount kerbs, reverse without signals, probably even smoke in their cars without fear of penalty.
True we now borrow far more than we save, despite cuts in welfare, defence, library services and public lavatories. The days when servicemen could moonlight as film extras or chorus members at Covent Garden are over. We would have to hire the Foreign Legion, which has survived for centuries without winning a war, to put on a musical comedy.
There is no shortage of advice from countries that have survived our current economic disasters. Iceland, for instance, has suggested we should follow its example. They closed their banks, made sure their citizens did not suffer and reneged on their massive debts to other countries. We scorn such poltroonery. Our own plan, like most works of genius, is simple: we are going to close parliament for five years.
True, rewiring Westminster and mending the leaky lavatories will cost five billion pounds at a time when Our Gracious could review her fleet in her bath. But omelettes and eggs, omelettes and eggs. We will just have to put up with dancing dogs and motorists keeping on the grass. But at least we will be able to massacre slugs with gay abandon.